完了.

There’s this sense of emptiness in me now. EYAs are over (most of them anyway) It’s like. Whatever you’ve been working for (or not) has ended…and there’s a rush of blood to my head – I feel life! XD Especially that now Chemistry is out of my life forever.

Anyway. Life after the EYAs’ gonna be good. Once I get my life back into order, that is. Went for violin lesson today and my intonation was SO OFF. Fnatural became a Gsharp, that’s two weeks of no practice for you. However. I have also clean forgotten all my bad habits that I used to have when I played last time, so the sound comes out stronger and louder, and the tone is so much cleaner though you don’t hear the melody thanks to my terrible intonation today. Came home at 5+, sat around and helped my brother with his homework, then dinner at 8 and I practiced guitar. The good thing is that surprisingly I haven’t lost my touch at guitar, and my hand doesn’t cramp up anymore, so I can play for like, 2-3 hours straight.

I shall uh, go do something productive now. Teacher’s Day gifts maybe. Hmm.

Brain has saturated.

Options

1. Take Japanese & Korean with Barbie
2. Take Korean with Barbie & learn Japanese on my own
3. Forget about Korean and learn Japanese, any how.
4. Forget about everything.

Jason scared me with some Chemistry exercies that follows the Australian/American syllabus…they learn the history that goes along with the Chemistry…well. Chem-is-try. Try is the key. We can always look on the bright side – I only need to be in school at 11 tomorrow!

Organizing notes now…shall spend tomorrow morning prac-ing and reading notes. It’s only another 17 more hours.

AND THEN NO ONE IS GOING OUT WITH ME. Hmph. No one likes me =.=

Manythings.

Campus yesterday! Zheng Ning did great! She improved a lot since the last round, and she made the least mistakes. I’m sure you’ll go far, Zanny. Other than her, the other highlight of the night was Stefanie Sun’s stellar performance – 我怀念的 was perfect, save for the sound system at mediacorp.

Took the weekend to slack, played a bit of guitar (after two weeks omg!), finally couldn’t resist the temptation so I watched 恶女阿楚. And wrote a bit of stuff, for the band and for J. This minor hiatus that I’m taking seems to be for the better – I’ve been trying out all these chord progressions that I can’t even identify myself =.= Shii says that my style has veered off a bit from the usual, it’s a bit more soul now.

Transcribed an Ayabie instrumental for Shii as well. I’ve managed to do it in half an hour! So I haven’t exactly lost my touch.

The downside of having a break in the midst of your exams (a 2-day break some more) is that you let loose too much and you don’t feel like studying for your next few papers…Well uh. I did try.

Fear. Apprehension

Had an afternoon nap. Woke up in cold sweat because I had this really terrible dream of my family getting chased around Paris(?) by the triads. I was physically refreshed but mentally…disturbed.

The electromagnetic forces of the universe don’t like me very much,

For a moment

I thought I had lost all of my Geography notes, all painstakingly highlighted and organized. Then I realized that it was under my 3-inch stack of Chemistry stuff. My room is so messy.

I will sleep by ten tonight okay.

But in other news, it was Speech Day on Saturday. The highlight was reception, when I got to meet ex-principal Mrs Carmee Lim. RGGE was playing at reception and she seemed happy with our performance. Anyway I thanked her and had a brief chat with her. She’s really nice! XD I also sprained my ankle, while going down for reception. But that’s another matter all by itself.

It’s already 6.51am. Normally at this time I’d be in school sleeping on my desk, but the school is kind and we get a holiday today! Today is also one of the days where I get to stay home and listen to 万人迷. Makes me Happy.

 Barbie and I were supposed to stay up the whole night, for 24 hours but she gave up halfway. So did I. :O

What’s left for today: Geog Development notes, The Handmaid’s Tale quotes, Bioethics notes, Physics TYS, Compre practice, SS notes

终极陷阱YES SIR! is being played now.

And before I forget, Happy Birthday. It’s been two years. 不要想了不要想了

Mugathon – The Final Lap

If you all are nice kind souls, you all will buy Red Bull for me and put it on my table in class tomorrow. I know you all are.

Because this entry marks the start of the final lap of my mugging. Since tomorrow it’s Friday and I am going home early and there’s the weekend and Monday’s a declared school holiday (so the school does have some form of conscience), I can start Mugfest’07! Tickets are free. Subjects covered include English, Chinese, Social Studies, Geography, Literature, Chemistry, Physics.

Then again I’m starting to feel this sense of waste, that everything will come to naught after the exams. I will work hard. And I will show the world that I can pass Chemistry. NOT BY MODERATION.

I dumped all the contents of my bag onto my bed. They all blend in. They’re all yellow. Makes me happy. Which is why at the end of the year, before JC, I will repaint my room yellow. (My parents have agreed to the repainting part. I haven’t asked about the yellow.)

back to reality.

It’s a week + a day more to EYAs, and two weeks more to the “end” of it. Routine life has kicked in again – school and such, it makes me sick and sleepy. Like what Mr. A said, “you know, humans are not born to wake up and go to work and wait for a paycheck, or go to school and study everyday.” One of my favourite teachers, he is. I believe I have a psychological barrier against school; over the National Day week I’ve been waking up at 5,6am and mugging my guts out and surprisingly enough I’m actually understanding things now. But ever since school started (just this morning only!) I’ve started reverting back to sleeping in class and such. We should get like, study leave or something then I’ll be x948309423 productive.

But the school is relatively nice we get a holiday next Monday! For good performance in everything, sports & performing arts achievements (I contributed! Therefore am deserving.)

Sexy, Sherylloh and I make the coolest air band ever. And Claire’s back in Singapore I will now have to move back.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Today marks the 2nd half of a century for my Daddy. And two days ago Singapore turned 42. We are all getting old.

Anyway, my brother had this really really awesome meal for lunch – Hotplate Tofu with Rice. It’s really healthy but nice at the same time because it’s basically tofu & fresh green veggies on a hotplate served with a bowl of rice, and it’s actually from a Western stall, so the gravy they pour on it is actually mushroom gravy which is normally served on Chicken Chop. So anyway.

Toa Payoh Central Blk 184(?) Next to the Entertainment Centre, opposite Courts, Level 2. The Western Stall.

Okay shall stop advertising now. I also had a haircut today. I need answers to my physics worksheets. Because I don’t know if I’m applying my formulae correctly and it irritates me so.

By the way, I am hungry.

I sat down and thought.

There has to be a reason why I am actually obediently and diligently mugging. There has to be a reason why I am only writing down ideas, not expounding on them immediately, not practicing guitar or violin, not playing around with my softwares. I mean. I’m not a mugger mugger. Partially because I believe that 期望越高，失望越大. So I’ve always chosen the easier way out, to take things as they come, a pass is okay kind of thing. Don’t get your hopes up too high. If you do well then good, if you don’t then there’s always the next time. And besides, you get many little surprises when you do relatively well, so life brightens up after that. But of course when my results are really…at rock bottom then of course I’ll get up to do something…for a period of time.

This time it’s serious business.

Although I really cannot pinpoint the exact reason why I’m working so hard for once (I really believe that there is an innate reason why I’m working my ass off), I believe it has something to do with having more choices, and finding a way out. I WANT A BETTER FUTURE. Or maybe this is just a delusion that I will have a better future if I work hard now. And quoting 老师 who quoted Ronald Reagan,

“It could be worse.”

Which after much thought, I realized it’s pretty much my 座右铭 as well, just that it might have side-effects on me, telling myself that there’s no need to work harder. So I shall change it to:

“It could be worse, but it could be better if I make it to be.”

I have a general direction on what I want to do, in future. Earn good money, keep family happy, make family proud. I’d love to do something where I can earn my own money and soak in the satisfaction of it, and fulfill all these other aspects at the same time.

Which is why I will go back to studying now. I attack Chemistry tonight, and maybe learn some new Chinese words. And annotate a poem or two.

I need to get down to work.

I’ve been up since 5. So far I’ve finished Physics Notes and a few worksheets and a comprehension passage. Then I went out for brunch and had Korean food + Old Chang Kee and now I’m back, full and content, and ready to attack the 88 Questions on Organic Chemistry.

My family is being very patriotic; for the first time in years, we are actually going to sit down and watch the whole NDP. The parents plan to order KFC Pizza Hut & Pastamania.

And now that I know that you don’t hate me.