Someday we’ll get together and we’ll break it down

Last day of January; how time flies.

It’s near the end of the 5th week in RJ.  Am very proud to say that I haven’t fallen asleep in a single lecture/tutorial! I’ve also donned my JC uniform, which is the first uniform I’ve worn that does not involve a pinafore. It’s really comfy, but having worn a pinafore as part of school attire for the past ten years (all in different shades of blue!), I keep trying to push down my non-existent belt. In terms of academics, I’ve been diligently completing my homework but neglecting studying. I’ve a newfound interest in Economics, and my love for Literature is slowly regenerating. We have a wonderful Geography tutor, who really is the one person keeping my interest in the subject. (and of course, there is Claire and her capitals game) GP has been bad; I am embarassed over my lack of general knowledge and inquisitivity, and my sub-standard English. I really need to improve. Math has been…well…Math. Let’s just leave it at that. 

I spent some time contemplating my CCA choices. Had half a mind to try to auditioning as a drummer for Jazz/Rock, but it was pretty much against my values – playing with random people you meet in a CCA doesn’t mean playing as a band. And I don’t want to play with people I’ve no chemistry with. So I’m back in Guitar (no surprises) and possibly One Earth.

I’ve also decided to retake Chinese, with Claire. It is a good decision, I say.

So my life’s really been pretty fulfilling, going home completely spent everyday, looking forward to the next, enjoying everything I do, what more can I ask for? Yet I feel hopeless and dejected at most points. Scholarship Interview left me in a dilemma, Chinese O’s results left me regretting the times I slept in Chinese lessons, Theory results left me in regrets and guilt as well. That’s $200 wasted, just like that. But then again, Chinese and Theory were things of the past, and now I’m suffering for my sins in 2007. There’s just so many things I feel that I could have done better, so much better. But it’s all too late, and we can’t turn back time so I’ll just have to learn to move on.

Be less of a worrier, more of a warrior.

And yet in the midst of everything, something is missing.

I haven’t jammed in more than a month. This is not good for my health. Chris? Louise? Amanda? Claire? Save me???

Revelations, of some sort.

(list form because I like it.)

01. It takes over a month to get a letter from Singapore to the United States/Canada/Mexico even though the post office people say it takes only five to eight days. I’d like to believe that the Singapore post people get the letter there in 5-8 days, and the American post people take all of three weeks to get the mail sorted. But the point is, send your letters & cards way before the event that they were meant for, if you want them to reach their intended destinations on time.

02. The sugar in apples have the same effect as caffeine in coffee, on a person. It keeps you awake, for pretty much the rest of the day. In fact I think it either keeps you awake for a longer period of time, or the intensity of alertness is higher. Whatever the effects, it’s healthy. So. EAT APPLES.

03. Am in RJGE. Looks like I’ll never take a quietus on guitar, no matter how much I said I didn’t want to be stared upon as “that girl who plays guitar” in JC.

04. Took home a guitar to try out. It’s a real damn baby. It’s 630mm, 2cm shorter than a normal one, and it’s neck is thinner as well. Though seriously from afar you can’t really tell. It fits me perfect, just that I have to get use to the high-tension strings. The sound is awesome. Price is a bit steep though, so I’ll enjoy it while I can for now and spend the rest of the time trying to convince my parents about it.

05. OMG. RILAKKUMA SALE AT TAKASHIMAYA. GO BUY.

06. It’s only the third week of the year and I am running very, very short of cash. I mean if you look at it this way – in the next week I have to pay for my magazine subscriptions ($350), my Graphic Calculator ($155) and uniforms ($100), which actually leaves a deficit in my savings for the year :O And the food in JC is more expensive than in secondary school (but the quality here actually deems the increase in price) and Junction 8 is just a mere 10-minute walk away. AND THE PLAN TO SAVE UP FOR MY NEW GUITAR. Rawr.

07. Okay so my schedule’s more or less settled in already – I end at the latest 7pm on Mondays and earliest 1230 on Tuesday. Thursday is a killer day with a one hour break in betweeen lessons from 750 to 520. Fridays are badly planned days with 4.5 hours worth of breaks in between lessons and stuff, therefore causing me to end school only at 5.30 instead of 1. But that’s JC life for you I guess. Now moving on to the biggest and probably the most challenging problem in JC – self-discipline.

08. Found an interest in pool, and darts. Of which, I am passable at the former and…hopeless at the latter. But I’m sure with some training (aka Saturday Mugging Sessions) I’ll…be a pro in no time.

09. I still feel all eager and hyped up for school and external activities. Which is amazing considering that this is already week three. And I haven’t fallen asleep in a lesson yet! (2000 brownie points for me!) The classmates now say I overdose on apples, because I can stay awake in situations that they can’t. !!! Junior College has been a wonderful place, so far.

10. Right now the biggest dilemma in my life would be deciding to go for a 414 class dinner, or pool with Peaelle. Personally the latter is more enticing, but Alyssa’s back from Australia and I probably wouldn’t see her for months until her next school break.

11. Barbie’s birthday today! HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHOWWIE I HOPE YOU LIKED THE LITTLE SURPRISE WE HAD FOR YOU AT FISH & CO.!

The week.

Right I totally missed out Daveen’s birthday in the previous entry because I was still thinking that it’s 10th January. Nevertheless, Happy 17th Birthday Daveen!

I met my class & concluded orientation this week. The burning of T’spranza was what really hit home. No matter how much I complain about it, I guess somewhere inside I am very sekretly Rafflesian at heart. Man, wish I were a little bit closer to my OG, but that’s how life is. They’re having OG outing tomorrow apparently but I’m still torn between joining them or going for the NUS Guitar Alumni concert, or just staying at home to work on stuff. 09A03A! Yes that’s my class and I’m proud of it. We have very nice people, really. Introductory lectures were pretty engaging and our lecturers are pretty much all cool people, way different from secondary school. I do enjoy the change. In fact it’s pretty much your own world in JC; everything’s up to you. The independence of it all. I’ve always thought of myself to be one who enjoys having structure, but it’s turned out otherwise now I guess. Meeting old friends have also made everything more homely, like, I actually fit in somewhere, and that some people accept me. It’s exactly like how some people can just brighten your day up with a sentence or two. I’ve finally realized how much I’ve missed you all.

I’ve finally gone for a guitar lesson, after a two-week hiatus. My tone is improving, apparently. Guess that’s a good thing. Parents have sort of agreed to a new guitar.

But right now I should be going back to working on my projects. Stuff for Chinese New Year, and something for people closer to home.

AND NO I DO NOT WANT TO MARRY YOU, FUZZY.

Birthday Wishes

Mms. Before anything else, a big shout out to Shii, Xianwei, Kovan & Kevin T:

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY SHII & XIANWEI!

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY KOVAN!

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY KEVIN T!

That’s It.

Today I felt like I’ve finally learnt something in Literature. I like the lecturers, very engaging, very entertaining. I’m once again, motivated.

No more facile answers, arguements and essays. Goodbye to the diffident, faineant old me.

The future seems a little brighter.

Moving On

I woke up a new person today.

Gone are the days where I whine about how I didn’t get into the course I wanted. I was missing out on the bigger picture anyway. Bad things are always blessings in disguises. You win some, you lose some.

I think I’ve grown up a lot in the past few days. Realizing how the world really is, and that ohmygod I don’t have many friends. How I’ve let so many budding friendships drift apart and how it’s pretty much too late to save most of them, as much as I want to. How the whole new making friends thing isn’t really working out because everyone has their own cliques from secondary school, and their friendship’s so strong you can’t really break into them. But I’ll learn to live with it.

Thanks Titus, Jon, Mingfang, Ching, Hyqel, Shii, Peaelle, Zhongzi, and whoever else who is helping me get through this transition. It’s not that bad afterall.

+++ CD’s out in stores already! I just haven’t had the chance to go all the way to Bugis to collect it.

Opposing duality

I’ve started school. Am officially known as a JC1. I was secretly excited, really.

My OG is pretty nice; we aren’t very enthu but we’re…not too bad at stuff. Everyone’s really friendly and all. I try to be like them. I try to enjoy it. But somewhere deep down inside, a voice is screaming “why haven’t I seen Shii and Barbie and Justineee and HY around?!???!” Am really trying my best to keep up with everyone, and everything, for that matter. And I really have to look further on the bright side, and try to keep awake more. I really should stop giving people that dao face. I will try. Really.

I think the house system in JC is pretty cool. Maybe it’s just the beginning of it all for me, therefore I feel like a Sec One entering RG all over again. (not that I was really enthu about house in Sec One) This sudden streak of enthusiasm will probably wane off soon enough, but I’ll enjoy it while I can. BayleyWaddle ftw!

Mm. I feel good about myself because yesterday I did something that I never thought I’d do. I opened a door that I almost made an about-turn at. It feels good knowing that you’ve faced your fears. Let’s pray for Monday.

Anyway, SMS-ing Fuzzy in between stuff has been keeping me happy.

One other positive aspect about JC, is that I’ve been running around, doing physical stuff that I’ve never done in Secondary School. In fact I don’t really remember running in Secondary School. Today we ran around Sentosa. My limbs are going to break off soon.

 Anyway, point is that even though the situation I am in now isn’t my most desired one, I will TAHAN. And I’m sure someday I’ll be persuasive enough, and maybe our dreams might come true faster.

2008, as it is.

There is a voice at the back of my head. It screams, “SCHOOL TOMORROW. DON’T WAKE UP.” Which is probably the reason why I took a good four hours to get out of bed today. But it’s 2008! Year of the Olympics, and on a more personal note, the start of Junior College life. I see the winds and tides changing ahead, but no fear, because this year will be a good year! Must be optimistic (#1)! Even though JC isn’t the path I really wanna take, I guess I should be thankful for a secured place in it anyway, while the rest of Singapore were slogging away, trying to clinch places in their dream tertiary institutes. I on the other hand was wondering which institute would be better than the one I had a place in, for the whole year.

Sometimes I wonder if the fact that my face tells everything is a good thing, or a terrible flaw. So I’m gonna try to tolerate things a bit more (#2). JC’s only two years long I cannot afford to screw up friendships because there’ll be no time for making up and all that. And even less time for contemplating whether to try to be friends with certain people. Just uh, be more sociable (#3) I guess. Open up more, smile more.

Right ums. Am standing on a thin line between thinking and doing. Because the five of us spent half a year talking about it and we’ve revised draft after draft after draft, and now finally we have people supporting us, we just need to DO IT. Sekretplans must work out this year (#4) if all else fails, ALRITE. Moving on, I am going to stay healthy (#5) by eating my greens off my plate before touching anything else, having a fruit for breakfast and whee weekly PackFoodDay & VeggieDay with Barbie. I started off the day with a banana! Be proud of me

Other things of importance – no slacking off this year and next (#6) because it is not cool to do so. Practice my guitar, violin & piano everyday (#7), stay awake in lectures & tutorials by all means (#8) including finding a brand of coffee that works for me, and fixing up my Stay Awake kit. Since I’ll be busier than I am now, it means that I’ll need double the effort to be nice to my family (#9).

Stay strong, stay sane, stay myself (#10).

And there you have it. 10 resolutions for 2008. And mission 101 as well. Am off to clear my room for the new year!