Three times this week, I’ve said things that possibly affected friendships. It’s really not a coincidence, it’s an inherent personality problem that I need to fix.
I don’t talk very much, but when I do, I say all the wrong things. It all comes out too fast. It seems like I don’t consider others’ feelings first; I actually do try to guess what their reactions may be…but I guess wrongly all the time. Maybe that’s why I’m not doing so well in Lit, maybe that’s why I’m taking it, to try to understand people better. (or really maybe I’m just saying this because I probably have no reason to why I chose Lit)
I’m really sorry for whatever I said, and the decisions I made without asking you first, and that I found out stuff you didn’t want me to know. I hope it clears up well and we can go back to the way we were before, because I realized how important you guys are to me and I really don’t want to lose you guys.
Maybe I shouldn’t have told you anything; I knew it would hurt but I didn’t know it would hurt that much. I’m sorry for making you sad, I’m sorry for assuming so much.
I’m sorry I don’t like strangers. You could have told me earlier, then I would have the choice. But thanks again because you understood.
Assumptions, assumptions, assumptions. That’s all I ever make, eh? Sometimes I believe that I live in some alternate universe that just happens to intersect with this one, and therefore whatever I say that should be right turns out all wrong.
Spending time alone isn’t gonna help, because I do that too often; even around people, I drift off into my own little world. Perhaps I’ve distanced myself so far away from the real world, I can’t talk to people anymore.
I need to learn to let go of things more easily. I worry over the smallest issues and ignore the important ones. I harp over people’s comments for days, months, years… People move on, and I should too. I’m reluctant to let go, because I still bear a spark of hope for everyone, every relationship. Will we ever be what we used to be?
Your life is perfect, why can’t I have it?
Ok enough emo-ing. Look on the brightside now, Val.
You have awesome friends. The awesomest in the world – Shii, cK, Amanda, Claire, Louise, Barbie, YJ, PL, list would go on, but these are those that come off the top of my head, and I <3 every single one of them so much because they are so awesome. There are also the group of friends whom I don’t have the luxury to talk to or meet every day, but we’re still on pretty good terms. I guess those are the wonders of friendships; how many of these people will I meet in my life?
You have an even awesome-r family.
What more can you ask for?
Sidenote, wtfreakazoid term FOUR starts in 13 minutes that’s 3/4 of the year and 3/8 of my JC life gone like that why am I not treasuring my youth?
